An Extraordinary Life

Born on the first day of Spring

The extraordinary, temporary life of my mother.

All of our lives are temporary. Yet existence is a dazzling miracle. And me being born to a woman so kind, so pragmatic, and so selfless is an incredible, dazzling miracle. Is it just chance that I was so blessed? As an infant, did I realize I had scored such a jackpot? There are those who believe we choose our parents before we are born, for the specific lessons we need to learn. I don’t scoff at that plausibility, and if it’s true, I’m grateful I made such a choice.

Here are some of the lessons she taught me:

Be fiercely loyal to those you love; Forgive everyone, especially yourself; Accept the inevitable, and be gracious; Enjoy your own company; Education is everything; Laugh everyday, and then laugh some more.

My cherished memories of her are so vast, and at the core there was optimism. Even when illness was becoming her norm, she had hope that everything would be okay. One time, as an ambulance transported her to the emergency room, she had a long discussion with the EMT. Instead of focusing on her grave condition, she spent the time encouraging the young man to finish his education and follow his dreams. The only reason I know this is because the EMT took the time to tell me how wonderful she was. That’s who she was with everyone she met.

When I look to the sky, I see the randomness of clouds. When I listen, I hear the randomness of birds singing. But there is no randomness about the permanent ache in my heart from missing my mother.

Mom crocheted me a large afghan, which warms me on cold winter nights. When I cover myself, I can feel a love that does not die. I take comfort in the weight of that afghan, realizing that every fiber was woven from her fingertips. It holds her very essence, protecting me from the room’s chill.

When someone you love is no longer here, gratitude is the balm that soothes. And when you realize you are who you are because of that love, gratitude can make your heart soar.

“There was someone I loved

Who grew old and ill.

There was nothing I could do

Except to remember that we receive,

Then we give back.”

Mary Oliver

Our lives may be temporary, but it’s up to us to make them extraordinary, for the light we shine is permanent. I honor and cherish my mother’s bright, undying, dazzling and miraculous light.